I touched briefly on this topic in one of my earlier blog posts but felt I needed to dedicate a post just for this. Before I became pregnant I didn’t realize a lot of these things! Seems like common sense to all moms which a majority of the time it is (there are moms or older people that don’t get it) but for non-parents it’s not! It is really important to respect a family and a mom that has a new baby and to abide by their needs and rules when visiting. Here are some guidelines below:

– Ask mom directly if it’s okay to visit and when would be a good time. If you are in contact with dad make sure he gets the green light from mom. A lot of times dads are oblivious and just invite everyone over without mom’s consent. True story. Don’t be pushy or persistent. Every mom and family is different. Some moms don’t mind visitors straight away but for me I really wasn’t ready for visitors until 8 weeks and even then it was only for really close friends and family.

– Bring food! Do not, I repeat do not come empty handed on your first visit. It is unbelievably hectic when you first bring a baby home and a lot of times food is forgotten about so food is always welcome!

– When you come over wash your hands if you are going to hold the baby. Do not kiss the baby! I think it’s so rude when people just go in and grab your baby or kiss your baby all over the face. That’s the quickest way to give baby an illness!

– Do not hog the baby the whole time or expect to just come over and take away from the special beginning bonding moments of this new family. Instead, see if there’s something you can do around the house like a load of laundry, dishes, cooking a meal, walking the dogs, vacuum, etc. This would be beyond helpful. I hate it when people just come over and want to relax on your couch and hold your baby while you have to sit there and entertain while you are completely exhausted!

– Do not stay long. One hour max. Newborns need their rest and so do moms. Last thing we want is to sit there for hours holding up a conversation when all we can think about is when the next time to nurse is.

– Better yet, leave food at the door and go. Include a note or card asking to let you know when a good time to visit is. This would be beyond appreciated!

– If you are sick, beginning to feel sick or even getting over being sick, please stay home!

– If baby starts crying please hand him/her back to parents. Do not force the interaction or think you should try to soothe baby yourself.

– Abide by parents rules! Every family is different, some more lax than others. If a family requires you to be updated on your vaccines then respect their wishes.

Again, every family is different especially when they have several kids vs. 1. When its a family’s first baby it’s definitely a more sensitive time. I’m sure by the 3rd or 4th baby their rules have definitely changed! It’s best to always ask first though, when is a good time to visit and what do you need? My girlfriend Katelyn who has been a tremendous help is the perfect ideal example of a friend that was super respectful, helpful and accomodating. She checked in on me everyday through text and waited until I was ready to invite her over. She never came over empty handed (always yummy food!) and always took the initiative in doing things to help me. She would come over with groceries and cook, hold the baby while I showered, babysat while I ran errands, and left food on my doorstep because she didn’t want to bother me or wake baby. On top of all this she always respected how I wanted to care for my baby even though she had kids of her own and this was my first! She is definitely the ideal mom friend to have and has been beyond helpful and wonderful to my new family.