I’ve touched on this topic before in previous posts but lately I’ve been feeling it more than ever. Becoming a mom brings you closer to your family in ways and makes you grow apart from certain friends. I used to have a lot of close friends but these days, I can hardly think of a couple. I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones still looming about (I was told it could take a few years to level out!) but I’ve been a little sad about it lately.

I LOVE having my little one as my bestie. She ALWAYS wants to be wish me, around me and to be held by me. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I guess I just feel like I’m mourning the loss of some friendships. It’s funny because there were people that I thought would be more involved in our lives and take an interest in her growth but to my surprise it was completely the opposite. They’ve grown more silent than ever, more absorbed in their own lives and doing their own thing. Am I being selfish? I guess I had certain expectations and I guess I expected people to act as how I would have if the shoe were on the other foot. I feel like if you are a close friend you would want to take interest in my baby’s growth and want to take an active role in getting to know her. Is that too much to ask?

After birth, I had a rough recovery, a rough road. I had a bout of some really narly post partum depression and it was quite a journey to get myself out of it. I just remember having a super difficult time climbing out and needed all the support I could get. Not many were around and not many cared to even know what I was going through. All but one friend really understood my situation and I’m thankful she stood by me all hours of the night and day. She came to my rescue countless times.

My little piglet is now 9 months old and I am happy to say that I have adapted pretty well to my new role in motherhood. Of course everyday is a new learning experience and I have a long way to go but I still do have moments where it’s hard to cope. My hormones are still crazy at times and sometimes I feel really lost. There are moments of loneliness, helplessness, a loss of identity, stress, anxiety and extreme exhaustion. Sometimes I just need a hug and someone to tell me it’s going to be okay! I think this is where I feel the mourning of my friendships. Like I’m over here screaming silently asking for help and no one even notices.

In the end what matters most is your family. Friendships that aren’t meant to be will fall to the wayside and those meant to last will stay. Friendships I thought would strengthen didn’t but there were a couple friendships that blossomed and I have to focus on those instead. Becoming a mother is all about change I just need to let my life and relationships go where it takes me!