Tag Archives: firstbaby

Random Mom Hacks/Tips for Shopping

Posted in New Mom Chronicles, Shopping by

Note: This post will be updated regularly to add more tips as I find them!

Baby Registries: I had the worst experience with Babies R’ Us so I don’t recommend going with them. Loved my experience with Amazon as they have a great completion discount and if you have Prime it’s even more! I hear Target is great too!

Babies R’ Us: Hated this store at first but love how they price match other competitors. I recommend taking advantage of this all the time! They price match with Amazon as well! My local Babies R’ Us takes non-expired Bed Bath Beyond and Buy Buy Baby coupons so make sure you check if yours does too! Every so often they do have good sales. I like the Babyganics and Dapple brand. Every other month they have a “buy one get one 50% off” sale on those brands. If you can find a manufacturer’s coupon on top then you are set! Don’t ever buy Carter’s brand clothing here unless it’s on clearance. You can find it way cheaper at the Carter’s store. More about Carter’s below.

Buy Buy Baby: This is by far my favorite baby store and they also price match as well! They carry way more selection and the customer service is top notch. They also take non-expired Bed Bath Beyond coupons. Definitely sign up for their emails for monthly coupons!

Target: Target price matches as well. But I believe you have to buy the item then if you find it cheaper elsewhere or on their website they will match it within 14 days. Also, download the Cartwheel app for even more savings. I’ve saved so far over $60 with the app and have been actively using it for 4 or 5 months. Take note of their random promotions like “Baby Week”. For example they will have something like this: Buy $150 worth of baby items, get $25 Target gift card. But on top of that if you buy select diaper brands you can get an extra $10 gift card per 2 boxes bought. I did this the other day and got $55 back worth of gift cards AND I used the coupons on the Cartwheel app. Going back today to do the same thing but with manufacturer coupons on top of that as well! I heard  it can get as cheap as $8 for a large box of diapers! So cheap!

Carter’s: I may as well just hand cash over to Carter’s every month because this store just gets me every time. WAIT UNTIL major holidays to really buy out the store. That’s when they have promotions like “extra 30% off clearance” and “everything 50-60% off in store”. They do always have sales but I notice around the holidays it’s even better. Also, sign up for their emails to get that monthly coupon: 20% off your $40+ purchase or 15% off your $20+purchase.

Formula: Sign up online with Enfamil and Similac for their monthly coupons. You can get around $5 off with each check!

Bed Bath Beyond: I know that they don’t have a lot of in-store baby items. But if you want any household goods or partake in any of their sales be sure to use their 20% off coupons! Sign up to get them emailed and mailed to your house. THEY WILL TAKE EXPIRED COUPONS AND ALLOW YOU TO STACK AS MANY AS YOU WANT!!! I have gone in and used 20 of their coupons at once!

Supermarkets: Always check the back clearance section (usually by the butcher department or restrooms). On occasion I have found damaged diaper boxes (diapers in tact and okay) marked down 60%. These were Pampers brand so not too shabby!

 

Losing Friendships

Posted in New Mom Chronicles, Relationships by

I’ve touched on this topic before in previous posts but lately I’ve been feeling it more than ever. Becoming a mom brings you closer to your family in ways and makes you grow apart from certain friends. I used to have a lot of close friends but these days, I can hardly think of a couple. I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones still looming about (I was told it could take a few years to level out!) but I’ve been a little sad about it lately.

I LOVE having my little one as my bestie. She ALWAYS wants to be wish me, around me and to be held by me. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I guess I just feel like I’m mourning the loss of some friendships. It’s funny because there were people that I thought would be more involved in our lives and take an interest in her growth but to my surprise it was completely the opposite. They’ve grown more silent than ever, more absorbed in their own lives and doing their own thing. Am I being selfish? I guess I had certain expectations and I guess I expected people to act as how I would have if the shoe were on the other foot. I feel like if you are a close friend you would want to take interest in my baby’s growth and want to take an active role in getting to know her. Is that too much to ask?

After birth, I had a rough recovery, a rough road. I had a bout of some really narly post partum depression and it was quite a journey to get myself out of it. I just remember having a super difficult time climbing out and needed all the support I could get. Not many were around and not many cared to even know what I was going through. All but one friend really understood my situation and I’m thankful she stood by me all hours of the night and day. She came to my rescue countless times.

My little piglet is now 9 months old and I am happy to say that I have adapted pretty well to my new role in motherhood. Of course everyday is a new learning experience and I have a long way to go but I still do have moments where it’s hard to cope. My hormones are still crazy at times and sometimes I feel really lost. There are moments of loneliness, helplessness, a loss of identity, stress, anxiety and extreme exhaustion. Sometimes I just need a hug and someone to tell me it’s going to be okay! I think this is where I feel the mourning of my friendships. Like I’m over here screaming silently asking for help and no one even notices.

In the end what matters most is your family. Friendships that aren’t meant to be will fall to the wayside and those meant to last will stay. Friendships I thought would strengthen didn’t but there were a couple friendships that blossomed and I have to focus on those instead. Becoming a mother is all about change I just need to let my life and relationships go where it takes me!

Don’t Worry About That Instant Bond

Posted in Childbirth, Pregnancy by

Soon to be moms keep hearing about other mom’s stories of their “love at first sight” and instant bond with their newborn. You see it in movies all the time and hear all the love stories. People will keep telling you how amazing it’s going to be and how you will instantly feel a love and bond like no other. You will go home from the hospital and it will be an amazing time just “oohing” and “aahing” over this new baby. This will be the honeymoon period of your birth!

I’m here to say DON’T put pressure on yourself to feel this and don’t even think or agonize about how you are going to feel when that tiny human comes out of you. Way too many things are going on mentally, emotionally and physically that the last thing you need is to worry about whether you are feeling enough love for your new baby. If you do, great, if not, DON’T WORRY, it happens on its own and you will get there. I think a lot of moms lie when asked if it was “love at first sight”. Hey I get it, sometimes I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t have that fairytale birth where I looked into her eyes and love overwhelmed my heart and soul. Don’t get me wrong, when she was born it was amazing. I cried when the doctor laid her on my chest and when I held her, whoa, it was unreal. I definitely LOVED her and felt a connection. But it wasn’t like the stories I have heard. The bond definitely took some time to build and the love definitely did not come rushing through all at once. Not to fret though, my love for her now is so overwhelming I cry when I think of it. She makes every fiber of my heart melt and I love her more (if that’s even possible) each day. The bond I have with her is something I can’t even begin to explain.

So kudos to the mamas who had the fairytale births, it does happen for many moms, this I know! But if you are one of the mamas who didn’t have this uber emotional lovey dovey birth and you are sitting there wondering if something is wrong with you, don’t worry, nothing is wrong. When you give birth immediately there is a decline in those happy hormones and some women encounter medical issues so it makes it hard to focus on bonding with baby. For me I had a rough experience and post partum depression so it definitely made the bonding period challenging for me. No birth experiences are ever the same so don’t base someone else’s experience to what you are going to face. Yours will be unique entirely on its own. Just know, whether you bond at the hospital or days or weeks later at home, it will be amazing and the love you will feel will make everything worth it.

Advice

Posted in New Mom Chronicles, Pregnancy by

It seems the moment you announce your pregnancy a ton of advice comes through from everyone around. Some solicited, some unsolicited. I am always open to advice and hearing about other mom’s stories and experience, but to a certain extent. I definitely advise any new moms to surround themselves with at least a few trusted mom friends to call upon when you have questions or need guidance. This is a definite MUST. What I have a problem with is people that don’t have kids of their own giving you advice on how to handle your baby, whether you should vaccinate or not, and how to raise your kids. I also have an issue with older people telling me how they raised their kids 40 plus years ago when EVERYTHING was different back then. If you don’t have kids and didn’t have a baby within the last 10-12 years please don’t give me your two cents.

Advice that I’ve heard that I disagree with:

Keep your baby up all day so she will be tired and sleep better at night.

Keep all the lights on and TV loud at night so she will get used to the noise and interference.

Don’t pick up the baby too much or she will get spoiled.

Don’t let the baby sleep with you or she will be spoiled and want to be with you all the time.

Use a bunch of spices in your baby’s food early on so she won’t be a picky eater.

Look, she’s not tired yet let me play with her some more. (When it’s her scheduled nap time)

Let your baby cry it out. Okay, so I agree and disagree to an extent with this. I agree to not run to pick baby up at the slightest whimper noise or cry (as long as they are not hurt or in danger). I agree with letting baby fuss it out a bit before sleep because some babies just need to do this to settle before sleep. But I don’t agree with shutting their nursery door at night and not returning till the morning while letting them cry and scream the whole night through. I don’t agree with letting your baby cry till he/she vomits, letting her cry and sweat till she soaks through her clothes and sheets, or till she cries and chokes.

All in all, my point is, you will hear a ton of advice from everyone around on how to raise your baby and what to do. Whenever I had a question I would ask 3 different mom friends and also do my own research. I would then choose a method that seemed to work best for me. Sometimes I went with a friend’s advice, sometimes I would blend different opinions together and there were times I just went with my gut instinct. You as a mother should pick what seems best for you and your baby. Never feel pressured to go with your Mom’s, In Law’s, Friend’s or even a website’s advice. This is why I always tell new mom friends that the information is out there, there is NO EXCUSE for not educating yourself about your baby and how to care for he/she!

What I Would Have Done Differently

Posted in Childbirth, New Mom Chronicles, Pregnancy by

When asked what I would have done differently during my pregnancy and labor only a few things come to mind for now:

Journal and Memories: I wish I would have documented the pregnancy more and taken more photos. If I could go back I would definitely have at least kept a weekly journal and maybe even make a time capsule for my baby piglet.

PPD: You hear about post partum depression a lot but you always skim past the articles and tune out any talk of it because you don’t really think it could happen to you. If I could go back I would have better educated myself about the subject so that I could have been better prepared and be able to recognize the signs. After I got home from the hospital I had a bad case of stress, anxiety and depression. I didn’t know what hit me. After about a week I had to look up symptoms of PPD but I couldn’t grasp that I had it. Had I been better informed I think I would have sought help quicker rather than suffer alone.

Visitors: I should have been more firm with my husband about visitors. Of course he, not going through childbirth or anything was more than eager to have everyone come visit. But I, just going through quite an ordeal (24 hours of early labor, 16 hours active labor, painful episiotomy, major edema in around my vaginal area which resulted in bodily functions shutting down, malfunctioning bladder, painful catheter insertion, UTI, on top of that PPD… I WAS NOT up for visitors. Of course everyone wants to see the baby and think it’s such a great time. It’s not! Hormones are out of whack, you just birthed out a human being and you are not sure how your life is anymore. Lack of sleep and a newborn on your breast every hour takes a lot out of you. If I could go back, I would have firmly put my foot down, no visitors for 1st two weeks. Immediate family can visit ONCE in the 1st week for a short time.

Night Nurse: I know this is a luxury. But I would have honestly gotten a night nurse. My friend did and it made me regret not doing so. I think it would have made my life, recovery and PPD a lot easier. At least for the 1st month or two! Sleep is everything I’ve learned. Too little of it makes you a monster and wonder every morning how you are still alive. How can one go on sleeping in 2 hour increments with no naps during the day? So yes, next time I’m pregnant if that ever happens I’m getting a night nurse.

Gender Reveal… another event to plan.

Posted in Pregnancy by

As if you don’t have enough on your plate with a new pregnancy, announcing a pregnancy and on top of that a baby shower, seems these days everyone is doing a gender reveal! What is a gender reveal? Well, it’s where the couple reveals the baby’s gender to everyone in some sort of celebration or cute way. It can be at a party, dinner, home or through photos! It can be with close family or with close friends/family, you choose!

I personally always knew I wanted to do a gender reveal party. I had planned on this even before we decided to try to have kids. I would mentally keep note of the different cute ways to do it and all the cute decorations and games. It really is like a mini baby shower minus the gifts. I kept my party guest list limited to about 30 people. We had catered food, games and really cute blue and pink decorations. For the big reveal I had special ordered these mini cupcakes with colored icing in the middle, blue for boy and pink for girl! We passed a cupcake out to everyone and had them bite into it at the same time with us. The outcome was a shocker! We were so sure our “little bean” was a BOY… but she was a girl! I didn’t know how to process it at first but in the end, I wouldn’t have it any other way. She is so sweet and perfect, I would change NOTHING.

I think it’s especially fun to do this type of event especially if it’s your first child. Memories are everything to me and this is something I can share with her when she’s older. She will see our reactions the moment we found out we were having her. Thinking about doing a reveal? Here are some suggestions:

  • Keep it small. Family members and VERY close friends. Anything more than 20-30 people is too much.
  • You CAN do it at home with just immediate family! Get a cake and have colored icing placed inside by the baker or close friend! Cut into it together and film the whole thing!
  • Don’t ask or expect gifts. This is your moment you are sharing with the people that you care about.
  • Make the reveal fun with either a dessert, games or an activity. You can find tons of ideas on Pinterest. I saw a cute one where the couple got a large box and had a friend fill it with either pink or blue balloons. They had to open it in the end to reveal what they were having!
  • Don’t want to do a reveal? You can do one through creative photography and post it on your social media or mail it out to people. Again, Pinterest has a ton of photo ideas!
  • Don’t want to share your reveal with everyone? Plan an intimate night out just you two and have the results in an envelope. Open it together and celebrate!

Documenting your pregnancy can result in a lot of saved memories and experiences that you can share with your little one later! It may seem like a long ways away till your little one arrives but trust me, it’s around the corner! It flew by really fast for me. I regret not journaling more, taking more photos and documenting more things!