Tag Archives: pregnant

I’ve Been MIA

Posted in New Mom Chronicles, Pregnancy, Uncategorized by

Sorry that I’ve been MIA for practically a year! A lot has happened! The biggest news of all that we are expecting a 2nd baby this April! With a new move, Thanksgiving, Christmas, planning a Baby Sprinkle and also getting ready for the new little one it has been quite hectic around here!

Being pregnant while have a toddler makes things quite interesting I tell you. My first pregnancy was a breeze because I could spoil myself, go work out whenever I wanted and sleep whenever I chose to. I didn’t have to answer to anyone and didn’t worry much about the late night insomnia because hey, I could just take a nap the next day right? That’s definitely not the case now. I have a boss to answer to and she is demanding. She stands about 30 inches tall and she wants what she wants. Pregnancy insomnia is in full effect and my job as a Mom does not include naps. Whoever said “nap when baby naps” must have an assistant/maid/nanny/magician. Sometimes you just want to sit in silence during naps and zone out. Other times you want to take that much needed shower, eat something, return messages or catch up on things that have fallen behind.

So anyways, I will definitely make separate posts about these different subjects later. Just wanted to give a quick update! Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and New Year!

 

Don’t Worry About That Instant Bond

Posted in Childbirth, Pregnancy by

Soon to be moms keep hearing about other mom’s stories of their “love at first sight” and instant bond with their newborn. You see it in movies all the time and hear all the love stories. People will keep telling you how amazing it’s going to be and how you will instantly feel a love and bond like no other. You will go home from the hospital and it will be an amazing time just “oohing” and “aahing” over this new baby. This will be the honeymoon period of your birth!

I’m here to say DON’T put pressure on yourself to feel this and don’t even think or agonize about how you are going to feel when that tiny human comes out of you. Way too many things are going on mentally, emotionally and physically that the last thing you need is to worry about whether you are feeling enough love for your new baby. If you do, great, if not, DON’T WORRY, it happens on its own and you will get there. I think a lot of moms lie when asked if it was “love at first sight”. Hey I get it, sometimes I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t have that fairytale birth where I looked into her eyes and love overwhelmed my heart and soul. Don’t get me wrong, when she was born it was amazing. I cried when the doctor laid her on my chest and when I held her, whoa, it was unreal. I definitely LOVED her and felt a connection. But it wasn’t like the stories I have heard. The bond definitely took some time to build and the love definitely did not come rushing through all at once. Not to fret though, my love for her now is so overwhelming I cry when I think of it. She makes every fiber of my heart melt and I love her more (if that’s even possible) each day. The bond I have with her is something I can’t even begin to explain.

So kudos to the mamas who had the fairytale births, it does happen for many moms, this I know! But if you are one of the mamas who didn’t have this uber emotional lovey dovey birth and you are sitting there wondering if something is wrong with you, don’t worry, nothing is wrong. When you give birth immediately there is a decline in those happy hormones and some women encounter medical issues so it makes it hard to focus on bonding with baby. For me I had a rough experience and post partum depression so it definitely made the bonding period challenging for me. No birth experiences are ever the same so don’t base someone else’s experience to what you are going to face. Yours will be unique entirely on its own. Just know, whether you bond at the hospital or days or weeks later at home, it will be amazing and the love you will feel will make everything worth it.

Advice

Posted in New Mom Chronicles, Pregnancy by

It seems the moment you announce your pregnancy a ton of advice comes through from everyone around. Some solicited, some unsolicited. I am always open to advice and hearing about other mom’s stories and experience, but to a certain extent. I definitely advise any new moms to surround themselves with at least a few trusted mom friends to call upon when you have questions or need guidance. This is a definite MUST. What I have a problem with is people that don’t have kids of their own giving you advice on how to handle your baby, whether you should vaccinate or not, and how to raise your kids. I also have an issue with older people telling me how they raised their kids 40 plus years ago when EVERYTHING was different back then. If you don’t have kids and didn’t have a baby within the last 10-12 years please don’t give me your two cents.

Advice that I’ve heard that I disagree with:

Keep your baby up all day so she will be tired and sleep better at night.

Keep all the lights on and TV loud at night so she will get used to the noise and interference.

Don’t pick up the baby too much or she will get spoiled.

Don’t let the baby sleep with you or she will be spoiled and want to be with you all the time.

Use a bunch of spices in your baby’s food early on so she won’t be a picky eater.

Look, she’s not tired yet let me play with her some more. (When it’s her scheduled nap time)

Let your baby cry it out. Okay, so I agree and disagree to an extent with this. I agree to not run to pick baby up at the slightest whimper noise or cry (as long as they are not hurt or in danger). I agree with letting baby fuss it out a bit before sleep because some babies just need to do this to settle before sleep. But I don’t agree with shutting their nursery door at night and not returning till the morning while letting them cry and scream the whole night through. I don’t agree with letting your baby cry till he/she vomits, letting her cry and sweat till she soaks through her clothes and sheets, or till she cries and chokes.

All in all, my point is, you will hear a ton of advice from everyone around on how to raise your baby and what to do. Whenever I had a question I would ask 3 different mom friends and also do my own research. I would then choose a method that seemed to work best for me. Sometimes I went with a friend’s advice, sometimes I would blend different opinions together and there were times I just went with my gut instinct. You as a mother should pick what seems best for you and your baby. Never feel pressured to go with your Mom’s, In Law’s, Friend’s or even a website’s advice. This is why I always tell new mom friends that the information is out there, there is NO EXCUSE for not educating yourself about your baby and how to care for he/she!

What I Would Have Done Differently

Posted in Childbirth, New Mom Chronicles, Pregnancy by

When asked what I would have done differently during my pregnancy and labor only a few things come to mind for now:

Journal and Memories: I wish I would have documented the pregnancy more and taken more photos. If I could go back I would definitely have at least kept a weekly journal and maybe even make a time capsule for my baby piglet.

PPD: You hear about post partum depression a lot but you always skim past the articles and tune out any talk of it because you don’t really think it could happen to you. If I could go back I would have better educated myself about the subject so that I could have been better prepared and be able to recognize the signs. After I got home from the hospital I had a bad case of stress, anxiety and depression. I didn’t know what hit me. After about a week I had to look up symptoms of PPD but I couldn’t grasp that I had it. Had I been better informed I think I would have sought help quicker rather than suffer alone.

Visitors: I should have been more firm with my husband about visitors. Of course he, not going through childbirth or anything was more than eager to have everyone come visit. But I, just going through quite an ordeal (24 hours of early labor, 16 hours active labor, painful episiotomy, major edema in around my vaginal area which resulted in bodily functions shutting down, malfunctioning bladder, painful catheter insertion, UTI, on top of that PPD… I WAS NOT up for visitors. Of course everyone wants to see the baby and think it’s such a great time. It’s not! Hormones are out of whack, you just birthed out a human being and you are not sure how your life is anymore. Lack of sleep and a newborn on your breast every hour takes a lot out of you. If I could go back, I would have firmly put my foot down, no visitors for 1st two weeks. Immediate family can visit ONCE in the 1st week for a short time.

Night Nurse: I know this is a luxury. But I would have honestly gotten a night nurse. My friend did and it made me regret not doing so. I think it would have made my life, recovery and PPD a lot easier. At least for the 1st month or two! Sleep is everything I’ve learned. Too little of it makes you a monster and wonder every morning how you are still alive. How can one go on sleeping in 2 hour increments with no naps during the day? So yes, next time I’m pregnant if that ever happens I’m getting a night nurse.

The 1st Trimester

Posted in Pregnancy by

Out of all the trimesters I would say the 1st took the longest. It seemed like time stood still especially with the fact that we chose to wait till I reached 12 weeks before we told anyone. We both wanted to shout it to the world! I remember it being extremely hard keeping this secret to ourselves. I would say this was THE biggest secret I’ve ever had to keep mum about! I didn’t even tell my mom or my closest friends!

I definitely was hit with “morning sickness” except it hit me at night right before bed on the dot. I remember the wave of nausea, the stomach churning and the sour taste in my mouth. The headaches! Oh the headaches, how they would cripple me! I was so paranoid about anything I put in my body that I refused to take any type of pain medication for it even though the doctor said Tylenol was okay. I had my “little bean” inside me and I wanted as least chemicals inside my body as possible. She was the only thing that mattered to me now.

During this time I didn’t quite have that feeling that a life was growing inside of me yet I didn’t really feel like myself anymore. Food didn’t really taste the same to me and I’m a major FOODIE! I was worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrients to her so I just forced myself to eat a ton of salads, fruits and protein. I remember going online and printing out food charts and what the best things to eat were. I was going to give my best to the “little bean” and only the best.

Okay, so one of THE most challenging things was what to do once you find out you are pregnant. I don’t have a lot of family and my mother and I are not that close so I really didn’t have any guidance. So if you are reading this and newly pregnant here is my list of things you need to do in your 1st trimester:

  • Find an OBGYN if you don’t already have one and make an appointment. Most won’t see you until you are about 6-8 weeks along. Make a list of questions that you want to ask him/her. Things I look for in an OBGYN: reviews/ratings, good bed side manners, C-section rates, how long he/she has been practicing for, any malpractice suits or complaints, if they will work with your birth plan and lastly, how much time they spend with me and how they answer my questions.
  • Find a hospital that you want to deliver at and figure out if your OBGYN delivers there. Take a tour of the facility, ask a ton of questions. If your OBGYN of choice does not deliver there then you have to either pick a hospital they are affiliated with or pick an OBGYN that is at your hospital of choice. Things I look for in a hospital: reviews/ratings, C-section rates, clean and state of the art facilities, distance from home.
  • Start your prenatal vitamins ASAP and take them religiously. I also took DHA vitamins for brain development too. Keep taking these even after you deliver especially if you plan on breast feeding.
  • Choose ONE pregnancy book to read. You don’t need to do this but I do this because I like to be informed of EVERYTHING and be prepared for ANYTHING. This is a life you are growing inside of you, information is EVERYTHING at this point. I liked “What to Expect When You Are Expecting”, it was extremely informative, easy to read and covered everything from proper diet, exercise to common questions.
  • If you are able to and don’t have any health complications, please exercise. This can be one of the best things you could EVER do for you and your little one. My OBGYN put it perfectly when she said labor and delivery are like a marathon that you have to train for. It is really draining and exhausting! Also, it’s so much better for the baby if you keep up on exercise! You don’t have to do anything crazy, daily walks outside or on treadmill, yoga, light aerobics, etc., will all help! Plus, you will bounce back easier after birth if you were already in shape. I was already active prior to getting pregnant so I stayed active all the way up to 40 weeks. In my 1st and 2nd trimester I did a lot of classes like Cardio Kickboxing (modified of course) and Cardio Barre, Yoga, elliptical machine, weights (you need to start building some upper body strength!) and lots of walking (I walked at least 3 miles). Of course, run everything by your doctor first before trying anything! Side note: By your 2nd trimester you shouldn’t be doing anything where you are laying on your back, so learn how to modify your work outs!
  • Clean up your diet if you haven’t already. Research things you can and cannot eat. Load up on nutritious foods and snacks. Drink a TON of water. I can’t stress this enough. You need so much water at this point to help the baby and his/her environment grow! Also, this is OBVIOUS but quit smoking, drinking and drugs please! Saying things like “I didn’t know” isn’t an excuse anymore. You became a mother once a life started growing inside of you. The information is readily available out there today, it’s up to you to seek it out.
  • Start thinking about what kind of birth you want to have: natural, at home, mid wife assisted, in hospital with epidural, etc.
  • Check with your medical insurance on what prenatal and postnatal costs are covered and not covered.
  • Get lots of rest! Making a baby is HARD WORK mama!
  • Find 3 mom friends that you can openly contact at any time to ask questions and solicit advice from. 2-3 friends are good, any more than that then all the information and differing opinions can be cumbersome. I think I had 2-3 friends whom I could text at any hour to either ask questions, advice or just plain vent to. Trust me, you need this!
  • Start saving money!

This is the time to sit your significant other down and really go over what kind of scenarios they can expect from you. Your hormones start to get overwhelming and you could very well turn into someone different for the next 9 months! Let them know that there is exhaustion, sickness, things you need help getting done, etc. Split the tasks with them! Growing a baby inside of you is not an easy job and can feel like every ounce of life is being drained from your body. Unless you have gone through it you would never know! This is the time to go over expectations and help the other person understand what you need and how it may be so they are better prepared!

Hang in there! Once you hit your 2nd trimester your energy comes back and more exciting things start happening like flutters, kicks and watching your belly grow!