The second my little Piglet was born, I felt different. Well of course I felt different I’m the proud new parent of a small human being. But it was something else I tell you. Other chambers in myself opened whilst others shut forever. I was the old Jen but somehow with tweaks in my personality. Sleep deprivation definitely was responsible for the grouch in me but there was more. Suddenly nothing else mattered but HER. Everything about her came first. I would think of her 24 hours a day and research all about sleep patterns, feeding, babies, raising them, do’s and don’ts, products, shop for her, etc. I was and still am completely wrapped up in her.

My viewpoint towards people and friends changed a ton. Friends that didn’t care about my new life were no longer close friends to me. Naturally I grew apart from them. People that didn’t mind their manners about germs, being sick around her or being mindful of her nap time were wretched to me. I laugh. Because I know. It’s crazy. I get crazy mom syndrome sometimes and I’ll admit it. Anyone, and I mean anyone that comes over and isn’t mindful of her naps and what she needs gets to see my dark side, and it’s not pleasant. Lol. It’s all about her.

I cared less about myself. Okay this is bad but good. Bad for me, good for her, sort of. I put all of my energy and life into caring for her, nurturing her and making sure she has everything she needs. I spend time grooming her development and keeping her entertained. I would much rather spend money and time into making sure she has all the toys, games, and clothes she needs rather than spend on myself. The other day I felt guilty about buying sneakers. Why did I buy them? Ever since I got pregnant my feet swelled up and never went back. I needed comfortable shoes to carry her around in. Above all, material items aside, I give her all of me, my time, attention and love. And I’ll keep doing it no matter what. Yes, I’ve let myself go a bit, I’m not as thin and I don’t spend time applying makeup or curling my hair anymore. I really wish I could trust me, but that extra time goes to her and it’s deserving because one day I’ll blink and she will be 16.

Things that used to matter don’t matter anymore. It’s true. You become more focused on your family rather than going out, being around certain groups or spending frivolously on things (unless it’s for Piglet!). You start paying more attention on relationships that matter rather than unfruitful ones.

If you were not already in tune to world events or news even, you start to pay attention because it’s the world your little one will grow up in. Suddenly you worry because he or she will have to be around this. I became more eco-friendly when I became pregnant. I switched out all of my personal and home products. I make sure I recycle and not waste. I try to research all products before purchase. I am even trying to be more energy efficient. I want her to learn these things so she can help preserve our world so that she has a world to live in.

I’m not as nice. For the time being (hopefully). To everyone else besides my Piglet. I hate to say this but it’s true. My patience is tested to the core and I get no sleep or rest day to day. I have nothing left in me to be cordial or deal with small talk. The bags under my eyes speak for themselves. I barely know what day it is anymore and I don’t really care about anything else but getting her naps and feedings in. I have a very low tolerance for B.S. and I’m quick to snap.

On an end note, most of all that’s changed about me is the immense love my heart could hold and feel. I never knew my heart could give this much love or I could feel this way for another. On top of this it grows stronger with each day. I look at her and my heart wants to explode out of my chest. The words “she’s mine” leave my mouth and I hug her close to my heart. My biggest accomplishment is this little human who challenges me in the most meaningful ways each and every day.